Can't Never Could Do Nothing

Attack of the Killer Blue Jay

2009-06-08T23:03:00.004-04:00

Well now, Daddy Blue Jay is protecting his nest again. He does not seem to care for when I mow my lawn. It took me a long 3 hours just to mow the back yard tonight. But I did have the company of Daddy J. I'm not yet sure where the nest is but it's in the gnarled mess of a tree in my back yard. He dive-bombs me and/or the lawnmower. I first noticed him tonight sitting on the fence squawking at me loud enough I could hear him over the mower. Then I had to laugh when he flew off and tapped the top of my head. That seems to be his favorite activity to get my attention. When that's not working, he hops in front of the mower. This will go on just like last summer until the end of July. It's really quite funny.

The Aftermath

2009-06-02T19:02:00.004-04:00

Green Lantern and Money should go hand in hand.

Jasmine (I thing that's her name) needs a thicker skin.

I'm certain that my anger towards the Wachovia situation is well understood. I was not abusive on the phone to any of the representatives I spoke with. I was even told by some colleagues around me that, given the situation, I was more than pleasant. Now, at one point Jasmine was yanking my chain. I made it clear that I did not want to receive help from her, no offense, but that I only wanted to talk to ONE individual and I gave her his name. The name of the very person spoke with when the issue first started. Not being one to take no for an answer, and trust me, she understood clearly that I was not releasing information to her. She continued to ask me questions. I told her that I was through answering Wachovia Questions and Wachovia was going to answer mine.

Backtrack a bit

At lunch I went to my local Wachovia Branch and spoke with a gentleman that got to listen to about 20 minutes of my pissed-off'ed-ness, nicely put; and not being able to say anything because I was on a roll. I started by giving him my driver's license and bank card and told him to verify me. And then I asked him what truck he tried to purchase within the last 5 years. It seems that he was not aware of Regulation E (though it exists). End result, he helped me as much as he could and noted my policy and verified me and noted my policy further. I can only trust that he will convey my frustration upward, and also share my dissatisfaction with their Fraud Department security verification procedures. I'll get to that in a minute.

It seems that the 'supervisor' I spoke with yesterday did not put any hold/restrictions on my card; but she was a smart bitch and tweaked my nipple enough to piss me off, which in turn only spread the joy that is ME, amongst her peers. My money was always available. I seems that the Customer Service Center uses standard security questions (SSN, DOB, Address, Zip code, yadda yadda). But when a purchase is coded a potential fraud, it can trigger a requirement for additional questions associated to your social security number, and not your credit report as the first lovely supervisor told me. Either way, I'm not jiggy with the questions:

What truck did I try to purchase in the past 5 years - Answer is, I didn't
What relation to me is (Name) - answer is, Sister
What relation to me is (Name) - answer is, Mother
There was another question, but I forget what it was.

I understood the purpose of the question. But I found it offensive, invasive, and harassing to asking me questions that did not pertain to my business relationship with Wachovia. I would prefer a question like, "You write a monthly check for $302.62. To which company is that check written?" See how that question does not invade on purchase habits that do not relate Wachovia. See how that question does not interfere in my personal family life? Well, Wachovia is getting a complaint letter from me. oooooh scarey I know, but still, they need to hear my rant.

Well, back to Miss Over-Sensitive who was asking me too many questions that I was not about to answer. She was instant messaging the dude I needed to chat with. 10 minutes of her chatting with him, she finally tells me that she's not sure she will transfer the call because I would not respond to her questions. So I told her she was really pissing me off and to please let me talk to the person I asked for, that is apparently available. She proceeded to chastise me for using offensive language. Ummmm hello, if she had taken any of the 15 minutes we had been on the phone to read the trail of notes in my account, she would have realized why I was calling. Seriously, "pissing" was so terribly offensive to her that she felt negatively impacted. She needs a thicker skin if she's going to do that job. Or she needs to not use that ploy anymore cause she got called on it. But she did get the last laugh because she hung up on me. bitch, yes she did.

Dude kindly called me back within 5 minutes.

Research on his part revealed something he did not know. A fraud alert in their systems can be rescinded, but needs 24 hours to cycle; don't try to re-submit the purchase. subsequent repurchases within the 24 hour rescission window, extends the window an additional 24 hours for each violation. AH, that's why it keeps declining the purchase.

**I have elected not to proceed with that purchase**
**and I'm also considering other actions.**
Thank you Dude.
Go to Hell Dudette, Bitch Supervisor #1, and Double-Bitch Supervisor #2, and thank you Mr. Local Wachovia Branch guy.

The break is over

2009-06-01T22:35:00.004-04:00

I hope the artist can deal with my editing his shouts.

I've needed a break from blogging. I have been really moody and I didn't want to put that energy out into the universe. Well, I did - but I just didn't. I still feel that way. And then I got my Intestinal madness and bacterial Michelin Man disease. Which by the way is not entirely better. I'm struggling with the recovery. My intestines feel as if they are bloated (they are) and extend around me by a foot and down (they don't, but I am wearing my fatman pants). I feel constipated, but I assure you that I am ooooh so very NOT. And I'm moody... but I digress.

So today was back to work after a week away. Away from work, but around. And boy did I get pissed right the fuck off and shit for business got done today. (not true, but felt like it.)

Last week I attempted to make a purchase online with my Wachovia card. I admit it was a purchase outside my norm. It was declined. Okay, that's fine, I understood that. So I called Wachovia to clear it up. I talked with a rather nice guy that asked me the usual security questions and all was well and I could make my purchases. OOOOH No the hell I could not - still declined. Called Wachovia back and could not get the nice guy I talked to. But did get a nice lady, who wasn't the most helpful. So I asked for a manager - it was resolved. Well that seemed so nice and "too" easy. It was.

Between Thursday and Friday I made multiple attempts to resolve this matter. And then all of a sudden it seems the tables turned against me. I became the culprit. I was being treated like I was attempting to steal (identity theft) myself. I was being asked questions that were beyond the scope of the normal security questions. What the hell was this? And all reasonable help to be able to make a $100 purchase from my pitiful $3000 of savings became a battle for my identity. Rest assured that over the weekend, I spoke with a Wachovia rep that was indeed less helpful but assured me that I could make my purchase. Again, no..... declined.

So today, I was not a happy camper trying to make my 'simple' purchase. I spoke with a supervisor. You know the kind with the sugary soft sultry calming voice. Well frankly she didn't realize the prick she was talking to. Because I can be nice, and equally sugary with a ton more sarcasm to back it up. She wanted me to answer additional questions that I found to be harassing and NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. She wanted me to tell her what type of Truck purchase I had attempted within the past 5 years. She named my a person in my life and wanted to know my relation to her. She named another person in my life and wanted to know my relation to her as well. Answering these questions would have allowed me to get her, to release the funds to make the purchase. 5 days later, she asks me these additional security questions. See I not only have a problem with the additional intrusive security questions that I find to be customer service harassment (apparently allowed under the Electronic Fund Transfer Act - Regulation "E"); but I also find it frustrating that 5 day prior I was the same person (Identity thief or NOT) and allowed to have access to my money.

The kicker to this whole Bitch of a situation is this... Since I refused to be the monkey they wanted by answering their additional security questions, Ms. Bitch locked up my $100 AND the remaining balance. (Insert even more colorful epithets right the fuck HERE.)

Welcome back to blogging Thomas.

Bad Dream

2009-05-19T19:20:00.003-04:00

My recent struggle with death left me having some odd dreams. What? ...I felt like I was dying. One of the dreams I had involved my demise. My gut wrenched, intestinal twisting and bacterial infested corpse lay serenely next to some old tree. As time passes I decay and wither away into the ground. The following Spring I am risen renewed in the form of mushrooms. A copious mound of brown mushrooms. All of you visit but don't stay. You reach out to touch me to say hello, but you pull away. The creatures of the land walk by me or around as if to avoid me. I am poisonous and you all recognize my healthful status. And the dream ends.

Well I have to tell you. That is actually how I felt. Not even my dog wanted to be around me. Frankly, I stunk. I showered - long hot showers are wonderful when you can muster up the energy to enjoy one when your sick. I stunk so bad I forced myself to shower whether I felt like it or not. I'm loathe to describe the stench. I smelled of defecation, but I was clean. I smelled of nicotine, but I have not been smoking. The smell was sour, rancid and oddly fragrant. I figure the fragrant part was from being diabetic and my sugar levels being high. But who the heck knows. Sweet smelling shit, is still shit; and that is how how felt.

Monday I felt well enough to go to work. I did. OMG, I still stunk. I went home for lunch and threw on some cologne to try to feel better about myself.

Today, I had more energy and I didn't stink. I'm getting better. Maybe my shit don't stink after all. *oh yeah, I'm feeling better*

The Pardon of Miss California

2009-05-13T21:17:00.004-04:00

When Carrie Prejean won the title of Miss California 2009, I wonder if the caption should have read, "OMG, this is the last glamour title I'll even win because I'm an idiot when answering questions!"

I could care less that she does support gay married, or believes marriage should be between a man and a woman. That her basis is due to how she was raised. I regret that she does not have a mind of her own. I also feel sorry for her that she didn't anticipate that question in advance. She most certainly could have thought of an answer that was eloquent, supported her beliefs and walked the line of controversy.

Now I'm not saying that I would want to know the truth as we all do now. I just saying that she was basically applying for a nationally/globally recognized prestige position. She should have know better than to stab the question face on.

But oddly enough I'm more annoyed at Donald Trump being the sexist egotistical pig that he is. Should I expect anything less. He also supported and retained the other Miss USA/America tart (not sure which contest cause I'm just not that into it). You may recall she had a drug and alcohol history that could have tarnished her crown. Well that was two years ago and the Donald exonerated her. But on his Apprentic Show, the Kardashian chic got the boot for having received a DUI in California. Trump is consistent that he likes tits and ass, but he sure is not consistent with his business ethics.

Donald Trump - You're Fired !!!

Mixing Evil and Fun

2009-05-12T20:39:00.003-04:00

If you haven't read me in a while, you're not alone. I have found a new addiction and it is enjoyable. I get into it when I get home and then it's time for bed. Facebook's Vampire Wars is taking up my time and I like it. Oddly enough, it's sort of like how blogging took hold me when I first started.

And I have Jadielady to thank for both. That Temptress!

Well I'm back and I hope you haven't missed me too much. Though I can think of two folks that have sent out for minor detective work to see if I was okay. Thank you for your concern. Nothing was terribly wrong with me. Other than a recent battle with a tummy demon. But I think I'm conquering that bug. Join me for regularly scheduled programming. Let me know if you want to join facebook and my Vampire Clan.... Come on, you know you want to...!

Domo

2009-05-03T21:52:00.005-04:00

This is Domo, but I'm naming it Pu'Ke' (pronounced Poo-Kay, but it's a fancy way of saying "Puke"). It's in honor of one of my friends and she shall find it sitting at her desk tomorrow morning with some brown M&M's to resemble the actual come-uppance.

Four of us went to a local restaurant on Friday night and we had a good time. I choose to not drink because I was having a health assessment completed the next morning. Two fine ladies were having Peppermintini's. The smelled wonderful and they look like mudslides in a martini glass. Well, let's just say they went down really fast and furious. Both got extremely silly and one made the bad decision to get up from her seat. It was all over from that point on. She tried to compose herself. But found that the bathroom was where the fun was at. And then made the mistake of coming back to the table, one gurgle too early. NICE. Well rather than go home I helped her get a hotel room.

durn, where are cute drunk boys when you need 'em.

Rare Offer

2009-04-29T22:47:00.003-04:00

Prove to me that you are a psychic.

Tell me what I'm thinking.

Swine Flu

2009-04-28T23:04:00.002-04:00

Swine Flu?

Facebook: Vampire Wars

2009-04-27T22:11:00.004-04:00

Join me on Facebook and start sucking

email me to add me.

My Lawn

2009-04-25T23:08:00.002-04:00

I'd be happy to have mower lines.

Right now, it's getting out of control.
And I'm not feelin' it.

What's Your Hobby??

2009-04-24T21:50:00.004-04:00

You enjoy staying in your own little world for hours, doing things that other people don't always understand. The finished product can be wonderful but you have to do it on your own time, without outside pressure. When you're bent on something, no one else can distract you.

Our Potentially Ridiculous Hobby Suggestion For You:
String art
Make art by gluing string to a surface and then painting it. It should take forever and keep you busy? do the outlines first.

Take the survey??

Your scores:

24.6

21.8

21.29

20.52

19.8

Hmfph!! String Art... Focused I can see. Bored out of my freaking skull, I am not.

Bottomless Pit

2009-04-24T07:06:00.003-04:00

Aw crap, I woke up really hungry.

Even my car is hungry for gas.

This can't be good.

And it's not payday.

I'm a Prick

2009-04-23T22:40:00.004-04:00

I've really been a prick this week. (no that pic above is not me, I'm cuter) I haven't meant to be mean, evil, nasty, or ill-intended; but my mouth at times has charged out in front of me too much this week. And I'm not accustomed to reacting in this fashion. I usual go through a period of keeping to myself and just being quiet. But this week, I think that I have been a sarcastic manipulative bullying prick.

I have been teasing the crap out of dude behind me. But I did tell him yesterday that I really appreciate him being able to take a ribbing because I've needed a punching bag this week. Which he in turn said that he tends to use me that way as well.

Other dude that is a bit mousey; I've been poking at him all week to take vacation time because - he needs to, he needs to, he hasn't taken any time off yet this year, he needs to, he has forfeited a week of vacation time for the past 5 years, and he needs to because I need a week of him not saying HAPPY MORNING! And ya know, he's planning a trip in July. Maybe not as soon as I would like, but he's planning.

Dude across the way from dude behind me - poor bastard has mount redoubt exploding on his forhead and I, of course, had to comment and comment. Good thing is he joked back about it and tends to appreciate the more evil and perverse things in life.

oh, I could go on - I even said "Fucking" in a meeting this week without batting an eye. My boss tried to stop me, cause she knew where it was going, but I couldn't be twarted. Yeah, I think a conversation is going to happen on that one. ...don't care. I really don't. Fucktard in earlier post really pissed me off.

What cracks me up is cute young female thing to my left and back always tells me I'm the happiest person she knows. This week even, she's told me that each day. I always seem to make her laugh and feel good about life... She must be missing out on all the other fun I've been having this week. I need a recharge:

Here he comes to save the day,
in blackest night or brightest day.
In evil’s sight, there’s wrong to right.
Beware this Lantern’s power light,
‘cause Mighty Mouse is here to fight.

Back to Normal

2009-04-23T07:10:00.004-04:00

Okay everyone, you can go back to your normal hectic egotistical self-centered lives. Earth DAY is over and now you can enjoy 364 days of filthy littering bliss.

Aaaaah, why do today, what you can put off until tomorrow.

oh look, Indonesia is actively pursuing a Green program. Let's sit back and watch to see if it works. We need about 50 years of data on that though.

Hello Mr. Lazyboy chair...

Earth Day 2009

2009-04-22T06:51:00.004-04:00

Mr. Sun can't fix it all by himself, you know.

cRanKy PaNts

2009-04-21T23:05:00.005-04:00

I had no idea that there really are Cranky Pants out there! Fo' Shizzle!!

It's my blog and I'll blog what I want to. But I do feel a sliver of a need to apologize for yesterday's post because it was suddenly blessed with rampant F-bombs. I also need to clarify that I didn't retort back to the customer. I was illustrating what I wanted to say back, but could not because of work ethics. Damn those. I did however, firmly advise him of his options.

I also had to double think how mad I was yesterday. Today I had a several brain tremors of annoyance that I had difficulty putting into check. There are going to be off-days that the brain meds just don't want to calm the savage beast. Today was one of those days. I almost shared a bit of my Temporal Lobe with a colleagues Jaw, just to shut that person up. No not really, But I do have Ally McBeal visualizations to help move me along in the thought process. What I'm trying to say is that I need to recognize that Mr. Cranky Pants is upon me and I need to play nice.

But not with fucking Mr. NY, the dickwad. (insert Larry the Cable Guy apology here)

oh - HAIL NO, You di'int!

2009-04-20T22:41:00.005-04:00

Ya know, at work I go about my business and do my best to be the ever patient worker-bee that helps the community at large. Most of the time I win. Sometimes I lose. And then there are days that I go about doing the nicest of things for someone and get bit by a snake. Well today was one of those days. I offered a man two reasonable choices to bring a peaceful end to his little drama in life and then he goes and ruins my day. Apparently I can take his god-damned "whatever it is I do" and fuck myself with it. That's not how he fucking wants it and he wants it his fucking way or no way at all. Does the fucker (me) understand all fucking that?

Pardon me Mr. Customer, but it's not 'fucker', it's Uncle Fucka to you. And I have several thousand of your testicles in the palm of my hand if you ever decide to get your head out of your ass. Because frankly, it's my way, or no way.

Fuck me?? - Fuck you asshole!!

We The People

2009-04-19T18:16:00.006-04:00

I've been meaning to post about this since the November 2008 elections. Melissa Etheridge had insinuated that she was planning on not paying her 2008 State taxes and ended her statement that suggested the same for Federal. I don't know what she actually ended up doing. I imagine that she paid her taxes responsibly. Or at least I hope she did.

With the passage of California's Proposition 8, Etheridge stated the above in this blog post. She believes that she is being treated as less than a full citizen, therefore, she should not have to pay full taxes and that by doing so it smacks of 'taxation without representation'.

I tend to side with that notion, but not with holding back on taxes owed.

But I do think that there may be some sort of option to put at least a little bit of hurt, into Uncle Sam's Hetero-ego. On the State or Federal side; and mind you I have no knowledge if this is plausible or not, I just like the idea of it - I suggest paying the taxes, but holding them back from the IRS in an escrow account. The State and the Federal government are our landlord's, if you will. So if you can escrow your rent from a landlord for not acting in good faith on your tenancy, why can't you do the same to Uncle Sam?

This would mean that taxes have been paid, but held from our government to benefit from using that large sum of money in a timely fashion. Every little bit would hurt from the GLBT communities throughout the U.S.A. Just imagine the punch if supportive members of the Non-GLBT community followed suit.

Now, if I knew for sure that I could legally do that, you would see my name on the early list.

Hey Melissa Etheridge - are you listening?

Look out Spiff

2009-04-17T22:39:00.002-04:00

Guilty Pleasure Bands

2009-04-16T21:29:00.007-04:00

A colleague, was listening to a rather unusual band for that particular individual. I jested and did my best LOL affording plenty of rolled eyes. That's when it was explained to me, it was a guilty pleasure band - Roxette. See, if I were to choose, I'd have to pick Hot Tuna as my guilty pleasure band. But Roxette? doesn't that fall more under the embarassing but awkwardly pleasing bands. Much like The Thompson Twins would do.

My guilty pleasure bands would be KISS, ZZ Top, Fleetwood Mac, Molly Hatchet, Steppenwolf, Jackson Browne, The Doobie Brothers, .38 Special, and Heart. Now those are Guilty Pleasures.

But were I to admit to an embarrassing but awkwardly pleasing "band" - I have to say that I Honestly Love HER - Olivia Newton-John.

Which one's are yours?

Poke me again

2009-04-15T22:06:00.002-04:00

I love my job.
I often wonder how I get any work done.

Everyday I must wear this shirt -->

It's part of my uniform that signals to others that I am there to be interrupted. Don't worry, at any time you feel the need to drop by my desk, please do. When you feel like calling, ring me up. When I'm on the chat system, which is all day, please message me. I want to help. I have no desire to do my job. I live and breath to know your job so that I can do it for you.

And if I don't answer my phone...
If I don't respond with in 2 seconds to your chat message...
Call dude behind me to see if I'm at my desk.
I'll be there waiting just for you.
Then make sure you drop by my desk, when I'm in Do Not Disturb.

And just to let you know that I serve you and only you; when I'm in a meeting that is facilitated by another person (most likely my boss), please come knock on the door and pull me out of that meeting. It was boring anyway and had no bearing on any responsibilities my job performance is based upon.

I trust we got that clear.

Pokemon: Snorlax

2009-04-14T21:23:00.003-04:00

Can't

Stay

Awake.

Must

Sleep.

Must

Rest.

Blip

2009-04-13T21:34:00.004-04:00

If it weren't for my prehensile tail today, I'd have felt completely worthless.

Wait!.... awww crap!

He-Man

2009-04-12T21:07:00.005-04:00

On Friday, friend Wayne and I attacked my front yard with clippers, buzz-saws and the power of Greyskull. Well, brute strength more than Greyskull. You have to know Wayne to really understand. He's a teddy bear and nature bestowed upon him strength beyond measure. Sure, you can look at him and think he's strong, he's large man. It's simply an understatement to say he's strong. He really is powerful. And in comparison to me, he's... well... He-Man.

When we finished, we planned on going over to his place to do the same. By that time He-Man had powered down. So we planned on regrouping on Sunday since Saturday was to be rainy (see yesterday's blog). Today, I went over to his place; we had breakfast and then got to work. First we de-weeded and I swear the growth in his front yard was the spawn of Skeletor. There were some really vine-like plants that permeated the entire landscape. At the prickly evil dandelions of death, ugh. Then we pruned his Crepe Myrtle which is wonderfully naked now.

I swear, it's only appropriate in our relationship, that I am the bungling weakling - the comic relief. Yes, in this friendship, I am Orko. Wayne handled the buzz-saw like a novice professional. Had it been me, someone would have gotten hurt. I was much more suited for hauling away the debris. I was very grateful today was cooler than Friday.

By then, I needed to make a decision about heading over to the Sorceress' house for Easter dinner. I dropped by her fortress slightly before arrival time; tired, stinky, and feeling still rather full from breakfast. I really just wanted to lay down and nap. With the promise of wine in hand, I explained, and then magically whisked myself off to my dimensional universe.

Rain

2009-04-11T22:01:00.004-04:00

Where's

MY

RAIN!!!

The 3 Variable Funny Test

2009-04-10T19:30:00.007-04:00

Take the Testie?

Well That Advertising Sucked

2009-04-10T16:44:00.007-04:00

Unless you can teleport to just about anywhere on command like Lockjaw from the Marvel Inhumans or Pet Avengers - you missed it. The Richmond VA, SPCA teamed up via the Barber Martin Agency with Wendy's. Up until March 28, 2009 you could have purchased a Wendy's Frosty(tm) key tag and gotten a free Jr. Frosty with every purchase through 12/31/2009. Okay fine, I went into a Wendy's today, you caught me. But I noticed the sign in the store advertising the now, stale promotion. Was it me, did I miss any other advertising anywhere: TV, Radio, Billboards...? You mean to tell me, in order to have known about the promotion at a WENDY'S, you actually had to walk into the stand-alone shop. To me, that was suckalicious advertising. The SPCA should question their efforts. Wendy's should question their commitment to the effort. And well, the ad agency should be fired.

Captain Caveman

2009-04-10T00:17:00.005-04:00

Friday, I had to laugh at one point because I really did feel like Captain Caveman. At the time I was carrying my dufflebag and had on my fleece jacket. The dufflebag was my caveman club, because for various reason, it has a bunch of my life in it at the moment. The jacket, with is many pockets had all sorts of stuff in it. Someone at work asked me if I had a can-opener. While they meant, at my desk; I actually said yes, I have one here somewhere. Now if you know the character of Captain Caveman, the club functioned in many ways. But the Captain's fur was a catchall for just about anything. He'd reach in and pull out all sorts of stuff. Well - I reached into my fleece jacket and I pulled out a can-opener. In my mind, I chanted "CapTAIN CAVE-Maaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn!" And yes, as a matter of fact, my mind does work like that. Ironically, Captain Caveman got a haircut today. High and tight. Unga Bunga!

How long can you last?

2009-04-08T22:02:00.002-04:00

Oh, I think I could last a bit longer...

Godzuki

2009-04-07T21:05:00.003-04:00

All I could manage was yawning.
I don't think there was an ounce of Godzilla in me.
Today, the role of Thomas was played by Godzuki.

Stupid thoughts

2009-04-06T22:21:00.006-04:00

I had all sorts of idiotic thoughts today. Some made sense and others were just blips in my brain that made me giggle. I knew that today would be a struggle. I woke up every hour on the hour. I swear I fell asleep soundly just prior to the alarm going off. Jezus I hate that.

I tend to shave in the shower. It's just easier. And I had the quirky notion to shave just half my face and go in to work.

I totally defied my priority list first thing in the morning. My mind said, go easy, do the easy items first. ... and I did.

The morning was flying by way to fast. Out loud (not that I really meant to) I said, I need time to slow down please. That didn't make dude behind me so happy and he chastised me because that meant his afternoon would go slow. Good!

After lunch I asked whiny dude what he thought of the notion that he was already dead and that THIS was his heaven. I giggled as I said heaven and he said hell.

I think only someone with my personality type can get away with telling their boss they look awful today. I did, she did, and she just laughed at me.

Steve Buscemi is not an attractive man. That's like saying Benicio Del Toro is attractive. I'm sorry that just isn't the case.

But David Cubitt is, and you can't tell me he isn't, because he IS.

I had other thoughts, but I'll sticky with David.

Burglar Busted

2009-04-05T21:44:00.004-04:00

When it rains The Solomonster prefers the safety of the outdoor environment and his hiding area that is the crawl-space under my Florida room. Last Thursday it rained and then Friday morning it poured. He would not come in. Not even for his favorite bribery treat. So he stayed outside all day even when he would come out for my lunch visit.

My dog is a loving wuss. But, if you are not invited, knows I don't like you, or something just ain't right about you; he's very protective. I think the property protectiveness was working on Friday.

I found the back gate open, but not enough for a person (or my dog) to get through. It was only wide enough for a person to have second thoughts about coming into the yard.

I think my pink panther burglar got busted by Inspector Solomonster. But truth be told, the burglar, had he/she gotten inside; would have been sadly disappointed in his haul.

Mr. Postman

2009-04-04T23:14:00.002-04:00

May 11, 2009 - Your stamp cost will increase again
Buy your Forever Stamps now.

Fine, whatever. Increase the cost of the stamp again. I sort of wish the USPS would just increase the stamp in larger increments. That way they don't keep doing it each years. Make the damn things .50 cents each for all I care. Maybe that will help them get a grip on their finances.

I have difficulty understanding how they are billions in the red. My postal carrier only delivers Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and the occasional Saturday. And to hell if the weather is bad. You won't see him or her, that one or the other one, if the weather is even slightly bad. At one point my neighborhood had a consistent postal delivery person. Now it's just a game of luck that you get anyone.

If you go to the Post Office, there are usually 2 clerks working. One consistently filters folks through the system. The other is chatting away with everyone and each other. "She" usually can service 1 customer every 15 minutes or so.

Did I just give her a pay raise?

You're so violet, Violet!

2009-04-03T21:39:00.008-04:00

My dominant hues are red and blue (violet).
Are not! Everyone knows it's GREEN.
I'm confident and like showing people new ideas.
Oh, I don't really care if they're new ideas or not...
I play well with others and can be very influential if I want to be.
Unlike others, I share. As for influential - it's the position.

My saturation level is lower than average - I don't stress out over things and don't understand people who do.
It's not that I don't understand them, they just tend to really piss me off.
Finishing projects may sometimes be a challenge, but I schedule time as I see fit and the important things all happen in the end, even if - not everyone - sees my grand master plan.
Yep and it irritates my colleagues to no end, but my work holds water.

My outlook on life is bright.
That all depends on what issue and how deep the doo-doo.
I see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates me to see them get down on everything.
Yeah, I'm a fucking ray of sunshine.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Perception

2009-04-02T21:14:00.004-04:00

Frustrating isn't it? Other than the birdie that Jadielady and I see, we can't figure out what the anti-image is. I was thinking about people's perceptions and I came along stuff like this. I'm not hunting down the answer until I give it more time, or until ya'll make some suggestions. So have at it folks. Tell me what you see. But why was I thinking about perceptions? Something a colleague said to me at work. She almost outed me to another colleague which was a result of a conversation she had previously had with another person. Apparently, I may be viewed as not a happy camper when someone "outs" me. That the anger is ME being angry with MY being outed. While I do care to some extent if I am outed, that's not really my concern.

What bothers me more, is the ability of the offending person doing the outing. I question how that person can be so inconsiderate to do that to another person. Gossip is gossip and nearly everyone does it or has done it. We talk to our friends, or people we believe to be friends and the Pert Commercial begins. Why does anyone talk about intimate details of another with anyone. Some of the answer goes back to perception. I know my friend at work almost outed me because she "believes she can" (perception) trust, the person she was talking to. And while I'm confident that the receiving party can be trusted; I'm not confident that same person would approve of the news.

Now here is where it gets sticky. I believe to the point of having the perception that my company is accepting of diverse lifestyles because I read my employee manual and it tells me so (hence I don't trust management and HR, ever). I believe that many - not all - (due to pre-conceived or otherwise perceptions) that my fellow colleagues are accepting of diverse lifestyles. The rub - my overpowering cynical streak believes that given the chance, my colleagues would use any type of information for ill, both purposefully and by accident. You may remember my post about my being a Pessi-Optimist. I believe in the positive but plan for the negative. I believe you can be trusted, but plan for you to be human. To my friend at work - I'm glad that you kept your mouth shut! Why, because I like my job. Now if you can get that other chic-a-dee near you to stop absentmindedly insinuating all the time, that would be a big help. Again, frustrating, isn't it?

The Selfish Gene

2009-04-01T22:06:00.003-04:00

Oh my god! Never in my life have I experienced such total selfishness. I knew people could be cruel. I know people are very egocentric. I suppose when you consider someone a friend you just don't expect to be treated so mean. I went to a friends house to pick something up and I ended up staying for dinner. I didn't invite myself, I was asked. All I wanted was a drink and a pear slice. But NooOOOooo!!!, her two year old daughter wouldn't let me have any. Now come on, who's side are you on? Women want all the X's to themselves.

Break Time

2009-03-31T21:04:00.004-04:00

I'd like to say this was break time at work but I'd be lying. But one can dream. Back to work today went well. I even navigated the smoke breaks face on. Yep! I went on smoke breaks with the gang. I figure (like last time) I need to face that fact that friends smoke and I will be around it. So I need to force myself to get used to it. Most of the day went well with the exception of 2 things. One, I was in a fantastically boring meeting for 3 hours with yawning people and the room was just getting warmer. But I made it...

And 2? well you'll have to go read Dr. Flab.

The Swirl

2009-03-30T19:03:00.005-04:00

Ugh!

If you don't know
I quit smoking
It's now day 2
I'm actually doing well
Though my mind is
Swirling
With unmentionable thoughts

Redirection

2009-03-29T21:06:00.005-04:00

By clicking on

Dr. Flab

You accept entrance

Into his Universe

And his First Battle

WV Country Girl

2009-03-28T22:31:00.005-04:00

Actually her name is Stephanie, I just like to associate people with cartoon characters. Stephanie's married and has a few hope's and aspirations in her life:

She's wants her own home
She wants to have a child in about 5 years
OMG - I can't remember what this one was. I'll get back to ya.
She wants to record a country music album
If she dies, she wants to go to heaven
Stephanie is the niece of a friend of mine. She's in town from the fine state of West Virginia for a few days. We took her to lunch and drove around a bit. She's a shy young lady. The type that speaks when she's only got something of value to say. WHATEVER! So I had to try to draw her out of her shell a bit if I was going to be a part of this. I was asking her all sorts of questions. This one question, "Tell me 5 of your hopes and aspirations" was the one that lasted the entire time we were together. The last one took the longest, but would make her grandmother proud.

Hopes and aspirations are not something I tend to focus on personally. But since I asked her this question, I figure I should create my own list:

I hope and aspire to be a better friend to my friends and relative to my family members.
I hope to have biological children of my own. I can't say I aspire to that goal, because I just don't see that happening.
I aspire to live a healthier lifestyle.
I aspire to be financial responsible and hope that I am making the right decisions.
As a non-denominational Christian I hope to put off my entry into heaven for as long as possible. And since I am the Supreme Commander of The Universe I aspire to one of the larger more prominent cloud mansions overlooking my, ummm our, glorious neighborhood when that time comes.

What are your hopes and aspirations?

People, Please

2009-03-27T21:56:00.005-04:00

I'm drivin' in my Car...

I turn on the wadio.

...it's raining like a mother!

I have one errand to run.

THIS is what I find. People, Please!!

Help me understand why people park their cars at angles traversing 2 or 3 parking spaces. Why is it that a motorcyclist is out in the rain and really tell me why it's parked in the handicapped spot. Give me a really good reason why you have to change your oil in a parking lot in the middle of all this raining. Is it really that much fun to stand out in the rain chatting with each other in the rain without umbrellas? And please... tell me why the two of you had to have your conversation in a perfectly good spot. Yeah, I don't give a crap about your needs either. So screw you beggar at the front door asking for change. OMG this was a WWJD moment and everyone just failed miserably, including myself. Thank you jezus this is a 3-day weekend for me.

Life According to Dewey

2009-03-27T19:47:00.004-04:00

WTK3's Dewey Decimal Section:

097 Books notable for ownership or origin
WTK3's birthday: 1/31/1966 = 131+1966 = 2097

Class:
000 Computer Science, Information & General Works

Contains:
Encyclopedias, magazines, journals and books with quotations.

What it says about me:
I am very informative and up to date. I work on living in the here and now, not the past. I go through a lot of changes. When I make a decision I am very sure of myself, even stubborn, but my friends appreciate my honesty and resolve.

Find your Dewey Decimal Section at Spacefem.com

Drat

2009-03-26T22:30:00.004-04:00

Baby Daffodils, and by that I mean the dwarf variety are one of my favorites. So, last year when I got an opportunity to get a boatload for free I grabbed them. Well they didn't like the process of being uprooted and replanted last year and just went to sleep for the season. I figured they would be stressed, that is why I planted them in a nursery. I was all excited this year. Waiting for their little green arms to reach through the ground like they are yawning. The past two weeks they have done just that. Unfortunately, I think that I'll only be getting arms and no dills. When it comes to plants, I can be extremely patient. *One more year little ones and I'm sure you'll mature into the glorious daffs that I know you are.* Funny, I think I feel a bit like my daffodils, a bit puny.

Dr. Flab

2009-03-25T22:41:00.005-04:00

I have created another blog to challenge my health goals. It's in the early stages, but feel free to drop by now and again at http://drflab.blogspot.com/. An explanation of this new character is over on that site. He makes me laugh, in an - ugh I got work to do way. Yesterday I provided you only the backside of Dr. Flab. Today - I present the side view and the front. Enjoy.

Teaser

2009-03-24T22:52:00.003-04:00

I'm needing some motivation.
So I have created a new Amalgamation.
Coming soon to a new blogspot near you.

Time Slows Down

2009-03-23T22:08:00.008-04:00

Time

Slows

Down

When

Approaching

A

Black

Hole

Time also slows down on Friday evenings when you consume wine and know that you're a lightweight because of your medications. Time approaches zero when you spend that time with the parents of a precocious 2 1/2 year old who's table manners are decent to a point. The point of which "snack" aka dessert trumps any dinner. Time stops when that same child walks her mommy into a winner's "okay" through thoughtful youngster discourse and "reason". Time suddenly speeds up as the daddy decides to butt-in and parent. Damn I was having fun.

Time also slows down when you have no plans on a lazy Saturday. It slightly speeds up when you approach the asymptote of homemade rye bread, the creation of Indigo-Orion. And it again slows down when you enjoy the yum of it on a lazy Saturday.

Time speeds up to the shocking bark of a German Shepard to the loud "CLANK-THUD" of the Sunday newspaper on the screen door. Time slows down to the enjoyable stench of newspaper print and unbearable stories of world and local events. Time comes to a near halt when you clip coupons for yourself, friends and co-workers. You know them so well that you reminisce of your friends and their budgeting needs. Time speeds up for laundry and slows for the wait of the cycle. Time slows during the wait with a cat-like stretch that falls into dream catatonia. The repositioned yellow globe shifts within eye shot and time speeds up. Allowing you to tend to the laundry and other domestics. But time slows down as evening approaches and Claudia is fired over Melissa Rivers. And slumber approaches.

Time is ugliest on Monday mornings, with its rushing alarm and bladder urgent pup that simultaneously demand attention. Out of control, time moves faster and faster and faster and you seem to blink and the digitized numbers blurr past you, exponentially chastising you to beat the clock to work. Time **SLAMS** to a screeching halt as you power-on your laptop at work. You have arrived - The work hole - darkest matter in the universe. You're only hope is exercising the patience of Job and reaching out for ... my earbuds and blasting some Anastacia. ...aaaahh!

Short People

2009-03-19T20:06:00.006-04:00

Short people got no reason, to live

They got little hands and little eyes
And they walk around tellin' great big lies
They got little noses and tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes on their nasty little feet

Well, I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people, round here

Short people are just the same, as you and i
(A fool such as i)
All men are brothers, until the day they die
(It's a wonderful world)

(refrain), to love

They got little baby legs and they stand so low
You got to pick 'em up just to say hello
They got little cars that go beep, beep, beep
They got little voices goin' peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers and dirty little minds
They're gonna get you every time

Well, I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people, 'round here

Author, Randy Newman

Nope, my mind ain't right. This is the song that was flooding my mind today and I couldn't remember the lyrics. So there you are. But of course there's a reason behind why the song was drumming through my head. I had just gotten to work this morning, pulling into the parking lot and driving up the ramp. How was I to know that 'she' was going to pop out from the side of her car into traffic. I try to be careful, really I do. I often worry about an accident happening. And to think, this morning was my turn. Well thankfully she was a nimble creature, all of about 4'11". I swear I've never seen her before and she must work in another building. I did not hit her. I rolled down my window (gentleman that I am) to see if she was alright. She totally agreed that she wasn't paying attention. My throat released my heart and let it go back to it's normal position in my body and I drove off. But I got to thinking - if she had not been so short, I might have seen her (better) through the windows and she might not have possibly died. And there you have it - Short People.

And then, don't ya know, my warped mind got to thinking about black people at night wearing dark clothing. Certainly they realize it's difficult to see them. And all the gays, sashaying and swerving their hips as they walk; makes ya dizzie when you're driving and harder to hit 'em. Think of all the points I'm missing out on. Pardon me, there's a mother with a stroller, brb...

Rainbow Flag

2009-03-18T20:18:00.007-04:00

My rainbow is intensely shaded black and orange.

**Rainbow Here, but it's a no show**

What it says about me

I am a strong person.
I appreciate mystery.
Others are amazed at how I don't give up.
I may meet people who are afraid of me.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

Wow, my "rainbow" flag is really ugly. I like it! I am strong. I do appreciate mystery. I never give up, come on now - everyone say it - Can't Never Could Do Nothing! And some folks are afraid of me, which I find just silly. But I can be oddly defiant, unemotional, bossy and evil. But usually in a good way. Usually. *Hey wait a damn minute - I need more GREEN!* *stomps feet*

VA State Police - Again

2009-03-17T19:51:00.005-04:00

Do the VA State Police have to memorize the Trooper's Pledge? Well if they do, they forget much of it. Two State Troopers (traveling pairs again on 64 East/Why always East?) were pacing traffic this afternoon at a comfortable clip of 65 mph in the 55mph zone. So I'm not complaining about their disregard for the speed limit. But I am a tad pissed that they don't use their signals.

Trooper-whoever in the car with license plate number 5082. You headed north on 95 from 64 East. You might consider providing more advanced notice than the nanosecond ghetto-blink of your directional signal. I'm glad I wasn't in the lane you suddenly decided to merge into.
- Buddy Trooper (License plate number 4972) that head south on 95. You are a complete ass, not even giving some old guy in a clunker (not me, I'm not that old) even the courtesy of the ghetto-blink.

Yes, I have a good memory, but I also text while driving. But I use my god-damned directional signal! And so should you. okay I'm done whining. But then again, I'm still a bit bitter about your response time from when I was shot at on I-64.

Today was a good day. I fit into a green sweater that I had not worn in years. And by "fit", I mean I stretched that sucker to hell and back last night and a bit more this morning so it would fit. I wanted to wear that because it was chilly out and it was the shade of green that fancied my mood.

No Stephanie, there is no Irish Code about what constitutes as Green clothing appropriate to wear on St. Patrick's Day. Your green jacket was fine. I'm sorry I made you feel joked into going home at lunch to get a green shirt. *if your wondering - For Real!*

Green - oh yeah! Where the heck is my money going? GAS BILLS, that's where. Most abundant resource there is, MY ASS. *okay so I had one more whine*

St. Patrick's Day

2009-03-17T07:11:00.005-04:00

ENJOY !!

Fabulous (C.O.) and Amaaaaazing!!

2009-03-16T20:47:00.005-04:00

The TV show Friends was a really funny show. Why did it take be 5 years into it's run to realize that? Cheers was awesome year one. But it took me until the year 3 to realize how funny it was. And Seinfeld. There's an Irish Christian Brother out there somewhere in this brave world that knows it took me until the FINAL season to realize how hilarious that show was. Why am I always behind the times. It's possible I like to sit back and see if something takes. But how much time and proof does a person need? I tend to be old-school:

Meet Mr. Vegetable Steamer
Okay, maybe not that old school, so instead, meet

When did these come into existence? Man, I love these things. They are so much easier. Birdseye is a more expensive brand that I avoid. There are cheaper generic wonders that do the same thing. Quick and easy and so totally Bachelor-ific!!! Please tell me I'm on the upward swing of this new trend. They're fabulous and amaaaazing. OW! damn-it, I keep steam burning myself though. Someone needs to make protective gloves that keep ya from burning yourself.

Stress

2009-03-15T23:38:00.010-04:00

Stress - What Stress? I feel fine.

Something must be getting under my skin. I'm not sure what. All my life I was an avid nail-biter, a true professional. About a year and a 1/2 ago I started taking Lexapro to calm the voices in my head that said "Smack her, smack her hard!" I described the physical and mental nonsense to my doctor. My back was tense, crawling with tension. I wasn't sleeping well. I couldn't focus worth a damn. Everything and everybody was driving me nuts. So my handsome doctor said it was time to give Lexapro a try. Meet Lexapro:

When I first started taking this wonderful little friend, I was so dog-gone sleepy for about 2-3 days. Try taking that while at work - zzzzzzzz. Well the first symption was sleep. But the next symptom was this odd feeling of a line being drawn down the center of my brain, separating the two halves. Like the drug was telling the two halves to stop fighting with each other. Then I noticed that I could focus so much easier. Then, chatterbox behind me was not so worrisome. I could block her incessant rantings all day long and get my work done. Then I was sleeping better. Then all was well in my universe and I was on autopilot most of the time. One of the best side effects was that I noticed I had stopped biting my nails after about 3 months with my friend. But it wasn't cheap, even with a solid health plan. It wasn't until a generic came out in August 2008 that I could purchase my new friend, Citalopram, meet Citalopram:

A smooth transition, with only a couple days of drowsiness, then back on the easy-button. And until recently I have been fine and dandy. And a whole lot cheaper, being a generic brand. But I have noticed lately that I have been pissier than normal and anger is not one of my better controlled emotions. I'm not hulking out, just having control putting it in check. Several posts back I wrote about some trouble with friends. It's an irritant that won't go away in my mind. I really like the new guy at work - he's funny and not stress inducing, unless he talks all day. And that one thought is what brought the origins of needing Lexapro back in focus. I'm stressing about something but not entirely sure what. So this weekend I decided to up my dosage (Dr. said I could) of the Citalopram for a short while, just to get over the edge. Well the wet and soggy weekend was my opportunity to do that and accomodate any grogginess. Oh sweet sleep, hello my 'other' friend.

aaaaaaaaahhhhh. I really suggest this medication for those of you that may be under similar stressors. And unlike other mood enhancers, it does NOT mess with your horny. ka-ching!

Keyop, Jinpei: G-Force

2009-03-12T21:44:00.004-04:00

In other words... WHAT?

If you like Anime or are old enough to appreciate 1970's cartoons from having watched them, you will recognize the picture as G-Force. In the picture, I'm referencing the runt of the litter called Keyop or Jinpei. All of which had bird-theme characters and his was the, swallow. Get your minds out of the gutter. I'm focusing on him because when he talked you couldn't understand him. You would sit there and think "what did he say". This post is a bit about that and something like "What the hell?"

Dude behind me at work, seriously WHAT? Speak up when your talking to me. You yell the rest of the day, don't just get quiet when your talking to me.
Islamic CEO of a broadcasting network in NY State. It was your mission when you opened the station to proactively educate people on the positive power of Islam. You recently killed your estranged wife by beheading her... WHAT? And now you want the station to go on and continue to convey your non-violent propaganda. WHAT? *shaking head*
Grub-Kitty cashier chic with your mouth full of bubble-gum. Stop saying WHAT(?) to the customers. Stop smacking that huge wad and Listen up! Do your damn job already.
Octo-Mom, damn girl - What the fuck?!
Obama... WHAT are you doing man!?
Jimmy Fallon - WHAT on earth was I thinking staying up late to watch your show.
This one is all Kelly's fault. He asked for snow. Well we got it. And it damaged my gutters which I now have to shell out money for. WHAT the hell dude!
To my College Alumni Association - WHAT? I haven't gone to any of my High School reunions, what makes you think I'm going to yours? Oh, and by the way, I'll need to make more money in order to give you any.
WHAT is with the squirrels digging into my daffodil gardens. You're supposed to hate daffodils and stay away from them. Git!
Cutie blond police officer - WHAT will it take to get you over to my house?
What Solomonster? You need to go out. Okay come on. You're all that really matters anyhow.

Yawn!

2009-03-10T20:30:00.002-04:00

WAKE UP

2009-03-10T04:58:00.001-04:00

GOOD MORNING, MR. INSOMNIA !!!!

Ya ever feel Alien

2009-03-09T22:12:00.009-04:00

I haven't really blogged anything significant since prior to my wonderful vacation I selfishly imposed upon myself about three weeks ago. But I have been trying to at least have a presence and spread some snarky comments around.

For the past 2 years I have been struggling with family and friends. It's been a whole lot easier illustrating that all my vacations have been taken up by family. NO fun for Thomas. So I jumped on the opportunity to just have some time for myself. And since the family drama has subsided and I don't feel obligated to use my time off to trek up to NY, I feel a bit liberated. ...But I don't. I still feel like I'm burdened by other people's baggage. I don't want it. I love my friends. I care for them. But part of me just wants to not know them right now. I want to fall off the face of the earth and start new. When I was younger I used to do this all the time. I'd get bored with my surroundings, my job, my friends; and move on to something new. Every 2 years or so I would pack up and move the hell out of dodge.

I've been in Richmond for 12 years now and I like it well enough. But I've got that itch to "head west young man". But I've no desire to move west, nor am I getting any younger. My dear friends that I have here irritate me. Their individual dramas and fucked up choices they make drive me nuts. Not to mention a tremor of a break in the main group of friends that happened 2 years ago has really strained all relationships. I'm friends with most of them still, but few of them talk to each other. I feel foreign amongst the friends that I do have. There is no we, just us and or them. I work with one of the former friends that just about no one speaks to anymore. And I have no desire to associate either. I sort of feel like I have to hide in the shadows with one friend in order to be friends with another.

My friends have become alien to me. But they think I have become alien to them because I rarely call them or have a desire to hang out with them any more. They have just made their own worlds so hard to relate to. So I have branched out and found some new friends. Some... are you. Others, are the gleedorks and nobblewoks from work; interesting new aliens that offer new diverse manners of speak and social freakiness.

So - I'm not moving. I will fight that urge to flee for greener pastures. I'm enjoying my new friends and my job. And I will for the moment keep my old group of friends collecting a musty odor in the friendship drawer. Because for right now, I don't feel like looking in a mirror wearing uncomfortable underwear trying to look tough. I just wanna be "spiffy".

Today is brought to you by the Letter "W"

2009-03-06T22:55:00.002-05:00

You Are Captivating And Original

When I Am Comfortable:

I am unique and interesting. I am fascinated by the world, and I'm always experimenting with new ideas. Oh, I'm unique alright!

People see me as mysterious and enchanting. I don't realize how much people are drawn to me. Actually I do realize, and it's often disconcerting so I ignore it.

When You Are At Your Best:

I am a hyper, restless person. I need to keep busy, and I'm always willing to take charge in life. That's probably why I sleep 5 hours a night.

People see me as energetic and motivating. I inspire people to be the best they can be. People see my chunky butt and think "Energy and Motion"??

When You Are in a Social Setting:

I am bold and dramatic. I have confidence in myself, and that's enough to get me through anything. I'm bold and not dramatic and I have enough confidence to get me and many others through anything.

People see me as capable and goal oriented. I have my eye on the prize, and others admire that about me. Ummmm, ...what prize?

What Do Your Initials Say About You?

Which Key are you?

2009-03-04T19:52:00.005-05:00

I am "tab"

Some people might try to say that I'm always spaced out. I'm really just ignoring you.

I do tend to be a dreamer, but I'm also a great multitasker. neh, not really.

I work quickly and efficiently. So it's no problem if I goof off a little while I'm working. I never goof off and you had better take that back.

And if people want to think I'm flakey, that's fine. I'm getting more done than they are. Think what you want, but I am getting more done than you. *well maybe not more than Jadie*

What Keyboard Key Are You?

Super Heroistication

2009-03-03T21:04:00.003-05:00

I Would Be an Upstanding Superhero

I am alert and observant. I can see through people easily. I know who's evil and who's good.

I need a lot of freedom in my life. I like to do my own thing, and I don't fit into any normal mold.

I understand people quite well and often know what others are thinking. Because of this, I can get people to do what I want.

I am a shapeshifter fitting in with almost any group. I can get along with anyone. I'm quite flexible.

I am a true philosopher. I am thirsty for wisdom. I am trying to figure out the meaning of life.

But even with all my wonderful superpowers, I still can't figure out why I end up as a woman in so many of these things. *Don't go there.*

What Kind of Superhero Would You Be?

Aliens have brought snow

2009-03-02T23:35:00.006-05:00

The Snow Lions have entered the month of March with a warning!!!

The Aliens are coming and arrive with dreaded Snow.

They are evil and bring many reinforcements!

They speak only 2 audible words; Nibor and Rolyat

They come to squash our Angels!

Pray they leave soon!

Thomas Meme

2009-03-01T07:39:00.003-05:00

Google Game: Go to Google and type in quotation marks your name and then "likes to" (ex. "Thomas likes to"). Type in the first ten things that come up and re-post in your own note.

Thomas likes to:

Say “Don’t say it, think it”. Not really but I might just start.
To do a little bit of everything. That's about right.
To keep things interesting. Always.
To go fast. And I'm due for a ticket *knocks on wood*
Make new law clerks watch the 1949 movie adaptation of Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead. I'd rather make them watch The Color Purple and make them drink some Shug Avery pee.
To get outside his comfort zone. Nothing's better than feeling awkward and uncomfortable.
Go right and shoot the step back or the pull up going to his left all from three point land. Oh, he so does not.
To end her performances. "her"???!!!, ... bitch please.
Stay and watch a river flow, even when there are no fish in it. Yeah, cause nothing's more dramatic than that.
Likes to look on life’s bright side. "Everything's okay, everything's alright - Everything's gonna be fine..." *what song is that from?*

Evil Nature

2009-02-28T23:18:00.001-05:00

hmmmm, I was expecting a much higher score.

Green Light

2009-02-27T20:40:00.004-05:00

I am a Green Light

I take life at a fast pace. usually
I act quickly and decisively. definitely

I have good instincts and trust my gut. always
I'm confident and brave. and impulsive

I am determined and ambitious. definitely determined
I don't allow myself to waste time. wrong

It's no surprise that I get a lot done. oh yes it is
I am efficient and productive. bwah ha ha ha ha

What Color Traffic Light Are You?

Highways

2009-02-26T22:41:00.004-05:00

Idiots!!

Virgina State Police car, license Plate 128-182L, you are a whole ass.

Thank you for driving the speed limit of 55mph along I-64East to I-95South. I understand that your precious cargo you were carrying in the backseat needed to get to his special appointment safely. I appreciate that too. What I don't appreciate is your lack of use of your left signaler to alert me to the fact that you intended to merge into me. Not ahead or behind me, but into me. Thankfully I saw that you didn't even look when you weren't signaling and I adjusted to avoid an accident with not just you but the asshat that was riding my tail. Kudos to your brother in blue that was also carrying precious cargo to his destiny (License Plate 128-181L); he was intelligent enough to use his signal when he slowly merged with oncoming traffic on to I-95South.

And to you, you friggin nitwit ponytail blonde female driving the Volvo at 8:00am on I-64West this morning; You also need to learn to use your signal as you're are merging directly into my driver side door. You so narrowly missed me as I layed on my horn to alert you to the fact that you are in fact a stupid bitch. And no, I didn't find it funny when you waived me off twiddling each of your fingers at me like we were best friends. Next time put your damn cell phone down. I hope you spill hot coffee - all over Ms. Pus.

AND, to Mr. Construction worker in the red van that was following so close that I could count your chest hairs; Next time, follow me home all the way, damn it!!!!

Green Fuel

2009-02-25T22:33:00.006-05:00

Green Fuel from Red Fungus.

Read this article.

Can we throw billions toward this too?
Well, maybe not to Patagonia, the southern section of South America.

Limerick Contest

2009-02-24T22:21:00.007-05:00

The annual Limerick Contest was announced in the Richmond Times-Dispatch this past Sunday. If you followed this blog last year you might recall that I entered and shared my creation. If you want to enter you can get an entry form from the paper or the local R-TD offices.

A Limerick, as defined by the R-TD is a humorous five-line poem. Lines 1, 2 and 5 have seven to ten syllables and rhyme with one another. Lines 3 and 4 have five to seven syllables and also rhyme with each other. The challenge is to create your own Limerick using the at least 2 of the words provided by the R-TD. I'm not sure who the knuckle-head is that selected the words, but I think they have spent too much time sucking on that Blarney Stone. If you're interested in giving it a stab, the words are (and I'm providing the Miriam Webster definitions):

Schism - formal division in or separation from a church or religious body
Quixotic - foolishly impractical especially in the pursuit of ideals
Ablution - the washing of one's body or part of it (as in a religious rite)
Tocsin - an alarm bell or the ringing of it
Cosset - (noun) a pet lamb; or a (transitive verb) to treat as a pet, pamper
Zeitgeist - the general intellectual, moral, and cultural climate of an era
Stolid - having or expressing little or no sensibility

Are you freaking kidding me?

Entries are due on March 9, 2009

Game on you inebriated word selector!

I did just say that

2009-02-23T22:14:00.008-05:00

Yes, I did

I did tell a fellow co-worker I thought he was cute. Now I know I didn't really want to go to work today after a week of vacation. But apparently I was so school-girl giddy about having a week of vacation to myself that my guard was down all day. I was relaxed, not the least bit edgy or defensive. My week was for ME and I deserved it and thoroughly enjoyed it. Apparently the euphoria rolled into today as well. Many folks commented about my more than usual jovial self. As opposed to the often prickly nature I can exude on occasion. But at the end of the day, nothing caught me more off kilter than explaining a situation to a colleague (who is aware that I am gay by the way) and revealing to him that the general consensus about him was that he is cute. Which by, his thoroughly blood red blushing face conveyed, that consensus included in part - me. I'm normally very reserved at work about such things. I have no idea what got into me to blurt that out the way I did, but only as a part of the conversation at hand. But golly...

Well shit yeah, he's cute. And I did have a nice personal vacation.

Vacation Over

2009-02-23T06:59:00.003-05:00

I don't wanna go to work!

Hulk Smash!!

Captain Underpants

2009-02-18T18:27:00.005-05:00

Yvonne Morris is Captain Underpants of the day!!!

I know I'm on vacation. And I generally don't blog when I'm on vacation. Just a way of taking a break from it all. But Yvonne just needed a "Can't Never Could Do Nothing" shout out.

Way to go Yvonne!

Eye Color

2009-02-13T22:48:00.005-05:00

My Eyes Should Be Brown
But they are actually Blue/Green

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom
Not when I'm on vacation the don't.

People find me to be: Loyal, honest, and comforting
Until they piss me off.

My best trait: I am comfortable with who I am, and I don't pretend to be someone I'm not
I so am. And what I am is ON VACATION BABY!!

What's hidden behind my eyes: A tender heart
Just like the Care Bear!!

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

Vultures

2009-02-12T20:42:00.004-05:00

Even the vultures are circling in hunt of Friday. Today was like sitting through watching the movie "Mama Mia" all over again. Is it over yet?

Thankfully I'm on top of all my work so I can go on vacation and feel unburdened. But I swear if anything drops in my lap at work tomorrow that even threatens of taking a long time to resolve... I'm going to tear into it's flesh and make it sorry it whined.

Grrrr Arrrggh!!

Gawd, I can smell Friday, and it's making me hungry!

Time has stopped

2009-02-11T23:00:00.003-05:00

So when I scheduled my vacation for next week, I thought no big deal. It would just be nice to be off fairly early in the year. The bonus for me is that it is truly a ME vacation. I don't have to go home to New York to see the folks, or for a funeral. Just a lazy time off from work to enjoy in my own way. Holy mackerel, as the week has approached I have just been silly about wanting to be here already. And it's just poking right along. The only thing on my mind is "time off". I'm actually really happy to be at work so I can concentrate on other people's problems to distract my mind. How ironic that even that is not working. I don't even want to think of other things to blog about cause it's just THAT ONE topic in my head. I'm even thinking of entering one of Sean's Undie-Monday features to amuse myself. .... forget about it, that's not happening.

Please tell me it's Friday

2009-02-09T22:46:00.002-05:00

Friday

Come on Friday!!

*FASTER*

Stimulus Plan

2009-02-08T21:31:00.003-05:00

This is a rather nifty devise. The Steelcase Workstation - health, fitness and the stress of work all wrapped into one nice package. It's actually rather cool since it has an electronic adjustment to the height that you require. The treadmill only moves at 2 mph, so you won't feel like you need to run. And it's estimated that for every hour you walk you can burn about 100 calories. Of course the pricing link on the website is mysteriously broken, but I did find prices ranging from about $4,200 to $6,500. Stick that in your stimulus! I doubt seriously even the most health-minded of businesses would buy into getting their employees this little beauty.

What Office Supply Are You

2009-02-08T12:17:00.005-05:00

I am a Whiteboard

I am a dreamer, a visionary, and a straight up idea person. I am very creative.

Even if the things I think up are a bit wacky, they often are brilliant.

I am an adept problem solver. I am always tossing around dozens of ideas.

I would make a good artist, designer, or architect. I do best when work feels like play.

What Office Supply Are You?

The Hero Factory

2009-02-06T22:30:00.003-05:00

Oh great! My superpower = I have a barking stick!

Be scared evil doers!!

Create your own

2009-02-06T19:29:00.003-05:00

I am Competitive, Organized, and Centered.

Competitive
I'd rather win than simply get along in most situations. When I know I'm right, I would rather argue my point than compromise. I am not always interested in getting along with others in a group, especially if it can mean losing my identity.

Generally, those with a high score on the "competitive" trait hold leadership positions in industry and are exhilarated by risk-taking both in their professional and personal lives.

Organized
I like to think a task through before I embark on it. If it's the slightest bit complicated, I make a list (even if it's only in my mind) and methodically work my way through it. When I have a goal in mind, I'm not satisfied until I reach it. I am not one of those people who ignore the details, and I don't understand how anyone can get anything accomplished without thoughtful planning ahead of time. But I can be messy.

Centered
I often feel balanced and on top of things, even when those around me are freaking out. I'm in a pretty good state all the time, and not subject to drastic mood swings. I don't usually react before I think; I am not ruled by your emotions.

It's not ME

2009-02-05T22:49:00.004-05:00

I swear to you that I don't mind having meetings. But I dread certain things about meetings. Usually I get to the point that I am very nearly like the guy above on the left. Now you will recall that our team was down a person for a while; that position has been filled for about 2 months now. The new guy is intelligent and funny and I get along with him quite well. My preference is for meetings to get to the point, have productive banter, and then move on. Oh, well today that wouldn't happen. Just as I was getting bored, I realized that the new guy was way more bored that me. It was a one-off meeting that we have on occasion. We had a guest as part of the group. This guest likes to talk circles and say nothing, but has a knack for making it sound pretty impressive. But it's not and it puts you to sleep. So while I was trying to get my meeting-dose of-zombie-sleep in - all of a sudden hear a very faint hummmm. And another - hummmm, now with a distinctive beat. Well don't ya know, it sounded like the Saturday Night Live Mike Myers tune "I know my name is Simon - I like to do drawrings!" I was good for the rest of the meeting, since I knew that someone else was totally more bored that me. AWESOME!!!!

Personality Test

2009-02-04T19:53:00.006-05:00

Main Type	Overall Self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Type..Score..Type behavior motivation
8...........19......Strong and in control to be happy.
9...........19......Peaceful and easy to get along with to be happy.

My main type is the behavior I utilize most and/or prefer. My variant (overall self) reflects my scoring profile on all nine types:

so = social variant (compliant, friendly)

sx = sexual variant (assertive, intense)

sp = self preservation variant (withdrawn, security seeking).

The Enneagram is a personality system which divides the entire human personality into nine behavioral tendencies, this is your score on each:

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	46%
Type 2	Helpfulness	66%
Type 3	Image Focus	34%
Type 4	Hypersensitivity	14%
Type 5	Detachment	38%
Type 6	Anxiety	58%
Type 7	Adventurousness	46%
Type 8	Aggressiveness	78%
Type 9	Calmness	78%

My main type is 9
My variant is social

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

So after taking this test, I think I may be manic. I must be strong and in control AND I must be peaceful and easy to get along with - to be happy. Let's also notice that I am equally 78% Type 8 and 9; Aggressive and Calmness, respectively. Hi!! Let's be friends!

Blogoversary

2009-02-02T22:04:00.007-05:00

Here he comes to save the day,
in blackest night or brightest day.
In evil’s sight, there’s wrong to right.
Beware this Lantern’s power light,
‘cause Mighty Mouse is here to fight.

One year ago today this blog joined with you. This is now my 303rd post. Jadielady probably didn't know what she was doing, suggesting that I join this fun club. It's been interesting watching things progress and make some friends along they way. Here's a bit of google analytic stats of the year in review. It's not all inclusive but does warrant some shout outs. Here's to more fun along the way and thank you for stopping by my little part of the net:

Visits: 8,091 Pageviews: 10,704
High Day: 100 visitors on June 11, 2008 (funny I didn’t even post that day)

Referring blogs
1,036 blogger.com
375 kellystern.net
346 Sportsnutindallas.blogspot.com
242 rvablogs.com
171 dogpile.com
121 earth2karen.blogspot.com
111 cawfeeboy.blogspot.com
78 ravelry.com
53 idleeyesandadormy.blogspot.com
52 jadieladythoughts.blogspot.com
39 bobmitchellinthe21stcentury.wordpress.com
36 tomrimington.blogspot.com
28 idiotboy.net
28 indigo-orion.livejournal.com
23 abowman.com
23 cnn.com
12 aussielicious.com.au
9 flibbertigibbet.mu.nu
7 caryvaughn.wordpress.com
4 rvamag.com
2 enblog-gh.blogspot.com
2 thelewisshow.com

Most visited posts
Jason Lezak and American Family Fitness

Countries that frequent me:
6,223 United States 291 Canada 289 United Kingdom
162 Germany 144 Australia

I've enjoyed being a dork and showing my cynical side. I often don't have the same thought pattern as many of you out there with my odd points of view on life. And then I have shared some personal issues this past year that are so very much human. I try to throw in some light hearted stuff hoping that you will enjoy and come back. In the end, I just putting out there, what is moving me at the moment. Comment as you will or not at all. I hope you enjoy the reading.

Happy Birthday Thomas

2009-01-30T23:59:00.004-05:00

Happy Birthday to Me?

Why thank you Ninja Kyle, thank you so much.

43 on the 31st

The Underwear Oracle

2009-01-30T23:30:00.002-05:00

My Underwear Says I'm a Typical Guy

When I'm bad, I'm very bad. And when I'm good, I'm still trouble!

I'm not afraid to lay around resting my hand in my pants.

OMG - how did the Oracle know that?

The Underwear Oracle

Sandwich Cookies

2009-01-30T23:24:00.004-05:00

I am Spontaneous and Bold

I view the world with childlike wonder. I am very inquisitive. I can't help but spy, investigate, and ask questions.

My life is all about change. Right now, I may be going through some changes I really don't like.

I'm sweet and easy to please. I seek out comfort in my life.

I seek sensations in my life. I crave excitement and love risks.

The Sandwich Cookie Personality Test

Nobody Loved Me Today

2009-01-29T22:21:00.004-05:00

I cannot remember that last time my work-phone did not ring. It rings all day long. Sometimes I just have to "send to voicemail" to get some peace of mind.

Today was unusual. Not one call, not a blip. I kept glancing over at it thinking something was wrong. It was nice not to be needed.

Ironically, a new function of my job is to listen to people's calls through my computer. THAT was in abundance today. And it sucked.

Slice of Life

2009-01-28T20:54:00.003-05:00

I have a major sweet tooth right now. And one of my favorite candies are the Orange Pectin slices. I'm so glad I don't keep candy in the house (well rarely). Right about now I'd eat a huge bag of those sugary suckers.
I woke up bright-eyed and ready to start my day at 3:00 a.m. on the dot. Why? I have no earthly idea. But I do know that I forced myself to go right back to sleep since I had another 3 hours of slumber love to work on. AENNNNK !! AENNNK !! AENNNK !! *Tell me that wasn't my alarm clock* Crud, it was my alarm clock - I could have sworn I just shut my eyes. But this time I woke up groggy! Ugh, I hate that.
Work - aaaahhh, I put together an enormous packet of information for a yet another regulatory agency that thinks they are cute by continually asking for more and more information. This guy is going to think I crap information just for him. He's getting a 10 pound turd of literature to sniff through this time. And I can't possible even fart out another page.
My daily ritual is bee-bopping home during lunch to let the solomonster out. Chilly, rainy and no snow (poor kelly) but there was plenty of white stuff all over the city. Fog, Fog and more Fog!!! It was so pretty. The fog was up at the tree level and not down on the roads. It was as if the city had a pretty white fluffy pillow resting on top of it. Why would that make people drive 35mph on the highway?
Left work at 5:15 p.m. which is something I rarely get to do. aaah restful evening and I'm now going to watch the movie "1408".

Jadielady Meme

2009-01-27T20:23:00.004-05:00

Jadielady has started a really fun Meme and I TAG you to post it on your blog as well!!

Anytime you leave a comment anywhere, or sign up for anything, and it has one of those nifty word verification boxes, come up with a definition and post it.

For Example:

inmolast - a beauty mark found inside one's butt-cheek.

See how much fun it can be?
Now it's your turn to spread the joy. Tag - You're it!!

Fatso

2009-01-26T22:57:00.004-05:00

Wonderful, Just wonderful - There's a Fat gene out there called FATSO, but it's referred to as FTO to be more politically correct (as if!). The best part is that some people have a double helping of this gene allowing them to be 40% more prone to diabetes and 60% more likely to be obese than those without the gene. Up to 16% of the population have the FATSO gene. But 1/2 of you out there have at least one copy of the gene.
And if that weren't bad enough - I heard on the radio this morning that there is a virus called AD-36 (Adenovirus 36). You read that right - A Virus. If you just sneeze on me I can get fat. I'm going sneezer hunting on the jerk that blew all over me when I was 12. There's an ass whoopin' to be had!!!

Frozen is better?

2009-01-25T22:39:00.005-05:00

I was reading an Eggland's Best advertisement today. It stated something curious about frozen vegetables.

Often more more nutrition-packed than fresh.

Why is that?
And while that may be, they're stinking hard to bite into.

Grammar Lesson

2009-01-24T22:57:00.007-05:00

Unfortunately, many people are unemployed and applying for jobs these days. If by chance you are one of those people. Try to avoid writing to:

Dear Sir or Madman

FRIDAY !!

2009-01-22T23:25:00.002-05:00

Oh Jezus, Mormons

2009-01-21T22:33:00.005-05:00

Usually, my front lights are not on and that signals *walk on by*. And on the weekends I can sneak a peek at who has come a-knockin'. Tonight - a Wednesday night - of all nights. An unsuspecting evening of quiet was interrupted by my multi-ding dong ring-a-ling of a door bell. Surely it was one of the neighbors dropping off mail that had once again been delivered to the wrong address. Hail no! I was caught in the net of THEM. Two twenty-ish "elders" on missionary assignment in of all cities - Richmond, Virginia came to my door. Thank you jezus, I was so looking forward to this conversation.

It's friggin' cold out and of course I have on my t-shirt and boxers. It's my door, I'll answer how I want to. One of them begins talking a mile-a-minute and I yadda-yadda with him and give him a bit of my story and want to get a move on. But they indicate they are cold. So I have to share with them that I'm cold too and my heart bleeds for them but I'm not about to invite two strange men into my house. *Hold back the snickers, cause it does get a bit better*

They want me to come to their church tomorrow night. I tell them no. "No?!" they retort, sort of shocked I would be direct. I said "thou shalt not lie!" and I wasn't about to, because I knew - and they knew, that I was not going to show up to their church. We bantered a bit back and forth and I accepted their *business card* if I wanted, I could check it out on line. If you're interested go to www.mormon.org or call 1-800-443-9911 for your free DVD "Finding Faith in Christ".

I assured them that I was a Christian and that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. Yes - that just prodded them to talk about SIN. I told them that I was a sinner and had plenty to repent for and that would be between me and God. I got the whole, Drinking (guilty), Smoking (guilty) and a list of others. But I thought to myself - that they left ONE THING off that intriguing list of "don'ts".

*Enter Solomonster: he was in the back yard and started barking. Mostly because he knew I had company and wanted to meet these fine men. He wasn't barking because it was COLD out and wanted in.* Thank you Solomonster for barking anyhow.

I told the men that I had to go - but that led to introductions. Odd that they would give their names at the END of the conversation. But that was more because they wanted to stop by tomorrow afternoon. Ummm - I'll be at work dudes.

So - the one doing most of the talking made a weird comment. That his buddy had red hair. That's only a bit odd because he was wearing a hat and you could not tell in the darkness. But he then said, "ever see a red-headed Mormon before?" To which I said "No I haven't, but he sure is cute!"

Well that ended our little gathering of the minds.
I wonder if they'll be back. They're not strangers anymore.

Shake it off

2009-01-20T22:59:00.003-05:00

Okay it's time to shake - shake - shake off the sadness of the passing of my buddy. Death sucks and it need not come visit in my circle for some time to come. But as I get older I know it's just an inevitable course that life takes. But he was 43, too young and simply smacks me in the face of "that could be me!"

Today was a Tuesday/Monday. All the work crazies came back to haunt like old friends. It was actually good to hear from them as it kept my mind busy and occupied. I 'rocked' and accomplished a ton of work today. It was a rather quiet day otherwise. Not much mention of the DC shenanigans. No matter who was getting sworn in office, you would not have caught me there in that madness, even if it had been warm.

The Solomonster was playful and I needed that.

I can't wait for trash day. Probably an odd thing to write about, but that's what's on my mind at this moment. I seem to be overrun by trash, which is not usual. One loosely filled garbage bag a week is my norm. But this week I have 2 bags that are just filled and packed and I think I have a third that needs to be started. And trash pick-up is pushed out a day due to the Monday Holiday. Strange.

Be alive everyone and glad to wake up in the morning. You have yet another day to put a smile on the faces of others, or really piss someone off. Either is fine by me, but just do it, damn it!!!

Tiger

2009-01-16T20:43:00.003-05:00

Tiger

I missed your football games.
You know why.
I helped you with math.
You know why.
We teased the girls.
You know why.
We broke a fire code.
You know why.
You wrote my book reports.
You know why.
You came to my concerts.
You know why.
You're my best friend from high school.
You know why.
We drifted apart.
You know why.
We've not seen each other since.
You know why.
I care and think fondly of you.
You know why.
Now it's too late.
To say good-bye.

I love you and I miss you.
Tell God I said hello.

Jiminy Cricket !!

2009-01-15T22:21:00.004-05:00

Jiminy Cricket was Pinocchio's conscience. And today I needed to call upon his charm so that I didn't lose my cool. I most definitely held back a "jesus christ" and a few other unpleasantries that would not have gone over well. My time this week could have been better spent on issues that would be completed by now. But no, I had to focus my attention on research for a state agency far to the south of Virginia. The person I am dealing with there has sufficiently pissed me right the fuck off. I have had to bend over backwards this week to get that "person" all the research they have demanded. I even consulted with the "internal" person I take my work to for final review to make sure of what had to be completed. I spent Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday and Today pulling, prodding, copying, editing, and pushing to get this done. Not just a few hours - almost the entire week. My research is all together and I send it out for review. The response I get is "you didn't need to do all this." What the hell? I asked you at the start to confirm what I needed to do, and you come back to me with that shit? Oh I was so fuming mad. I left the work on his desk and calmly requested him to whittle it down to what needed to be sent, and walked away. So now he gets to finger through a ream and a half of bullshit, cause I'm not doing it anymore. And you can fucking edit my correspondence down too, while your at it!

Gossamer

2009-01-14T22:53:00.004-05:00

Please speak clearly and stop mumbling.

Or I shall "What" you to death!!

Ah Ah Ah - The Numbah 5 meme

2009-01-13T20:52:00.004-05:00

For Jadielady
The Number 5

5 things in my bag/wallet: Other than the obvious
Expired Costco Membership Card
Expired Car Insurance Card
Expired Flexible Spending Account Debit Card
Indigo-Orion’s Home Phone Number
$32.00

5 things in my room
Me – Thomas
Solomonster – The Dog
Bill, Bills, and more Bills
A Santa Winnie the Pooh
Formula 409

5 things I have always wanted to do
Interfere with the dreams of others
Kidnap a few space aliens
Skydive
Get a motorcycle
Give a Police Officer a ticket for not using directional signals

5 things I am currently into
Balancing my finances – never-ending
Stretching exercises
Eleventh Hour – TV show
Work
Uninterrupted Sleep

Oopsy!

2009-01-12T23:44:00.004-05:00

Oh today started out just peachy keen. I think Captain Obvious will appreciate this post. And I know NobamaGirl will love this post. If your even a tad bit squeamish about the bathroom, just skip this post.

I was constipated all weekend. Not too common for me as I tend to be fairly regular. But I just locked up and couldn't get to doing what desperately needed dooing.

So, Sunday I ran out and purchased some over the counter assistance in the form of Senekot. The slow acting marvel that it is. Well, this morning was hopeful but still no relief. Being pee-shy is bad enough, but the other activity is simply a gotta-doo-it-at-home activity. At 9:30 a.m. I had no choice. So I high-tailed it to the restroom and thank god nobody was around. "Peace"

Assume you know what I did and also assume you don't want to know the volume.

Afterward, when I was safely at my cube working on work, I heard someone mention that the the water had just been turned off on all the floors on the upper level of our building. It seems there were bathroom pipes that had burst. Oopsy Bear time.

The bathrooms were shut down all day. The water had been turned off. It would take after work hours to repair the damage. I had a Steve Urkel moment: "Did I do thaaaaaat?"

Monty Python Trivia

2009-01-12T23:00:00.003-05:00

I scored 85% on the Monty Python Trivia Test.

Sir Lancelot

Obviously the Brad Pitt of the knights. He was the brave, good looking, smart knight. He wasn't king, mind you. But he was the closest to it given the bunch. I know my stuff. But I should watch the Meaning of Life a little closer and throw in some Life of Brian and I may be King in no time!

My Mind

2009-01-11T12:54:00.005-05:00

My last post seems to have struck a chord or a nerve with a number of folks. One person stated their thoughts on the blog, but others chose to email me. It appears that you are having difficulty with my additional comments. So without getting into a lot of philosophy I'll try to clarify a bit:

To the following, I said:

I responded "sort of" to; I see life as precious, and I wish everyone was safe, happy, and taken care of. I do see life as precious. I want people to be safe and happy. But I want that to be at their expense and effort. I want them to be taken care of by their loved one's and friends. Not by me. If you are my loved one and friend, I will help you. If I don't know you, you're on your own.

I responded "umm, not really" to; Social justice, human rights, and peace for all nations are all important to me. I tend to believe that we are striving for an impossible utopia at the expense of common sense. I do not believe in Social Justice. I DO believe in human rights. I do not believe at all in "peace for all nations"; that is an impossible agenda to presume with our current global hatreds and differences. And, Peace for individual nations needs to begin in their own homelands at their own people's expense. But, if our government deems it necessary to involve our Country int he dealings of another country; then we are obligated to see it through to the end.

I responded "or as much as I want to be" to; While I can't stop war, I try to be as calm and compassionate as possible in my everyday life. I don't get all hysterical about war. I have no control over what our government decides to do. I can write letters to our representatives and the like, which I do, but I don't believe they carry much weight to sway the decisions of the political elite. I focus my energies on smaller more manageable issues that I can have an impact upon.

And, I responded "oh, that largely depends on the "something" now doesn't it?" to; I promote harmony and cooperation. I'm always willing to meet someone a little more than halfway. It really does depend on the topic. I can be quite agreeable on certain topics, and stubbornly obstinate on other issues. Can't we all? We don't grow and develop if we are continuously passive.

So, if any of you want to write a book with me, be prepared to argue a bit. Otherwise, it will be one boring book. And if you plan to sleep with me, I'll demand my share of the covers, if the covers ever get used.